dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
