Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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