hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
