He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
