He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize