I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
