They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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