i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
