I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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