Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
vagina is talking i cant
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
