peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
