called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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