Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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