The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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