I'm jealous of your bromance
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Everyone says I win the strip club
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
