You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
