I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
