Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
