there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
