wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
