Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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