I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
