We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
