at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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