The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
