I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
