I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
