Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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