Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Two words: nipple clamps
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