i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
