That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
