Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
