Tell her she can't have a vagina
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize