the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
