I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
