walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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