My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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