so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
