How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize