Who did Billy Mays play for?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
