this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
