What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
