only if we run a train.
done.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
