I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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