Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
