Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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