I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im holly from the hills drunk
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize