guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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