Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
