i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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