you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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