Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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