You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
