Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
