If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
