OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
