Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
