u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
