Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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