the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
