Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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