I think my vagina is haunted
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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