Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
