I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
