omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
