i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
