That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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