Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
