Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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