remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You had me at "let me see your balls"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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