is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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