i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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